Do not marry outside the 'Tribe' !!

Yesterday I was watching a debate on BBC about whether a Muslim woman should have the right to choose her husband or not. Well, I am sure this debate cannot be restricted only to Muslim women or may be not even to women alone, as still there is a large percentage of people marrying without choice.

But it gave rise to some other questions in my mind. A lady participating in the debate strongly stated that, a woman should not be allowed to marry "outside the tribe". TRIBE!! My first reaction was obviously 'Bullshit!' A woman has all the rights to marry a person of her choice irrespective of his religion. RELIGION!

Are tribe and religion the same?

When I searched for the definition of Tribe, it was

"a social group of humans connected by a shared system of values and organized for mutual care, defense, and survival beyond that which could be attained by a lone individual or family"

There was no reference to religion!!

A tribe has shared system of values. In other words, those who belong to a specific value system can be considered to be part of a specific Tribe. So can I say that…

· the women, who demand a ‘fair’ daughter-in-law, belong to the same tribe of racist in Australia (I don’t know if India should really protest against the racial attacks, when it itself has got quite a big market for ‘fairness creams’, who try to convince how changing colour can change life! Have these protestants ever thought of these racists in their own country who though don’t stab people, yet kill their confidence, which is like slow poisoning)

· the smokers, polluting industries, people who throw ‘Nirmalya’ (flowers offered to God) in water, people who make chemically painted, Plaster of Paris idols and then throw them in water, builders who kill mangroves to grow money from land, ships that leave oil in water, all belong to the ‘contaminating tribe’

· people who use electricity or water or any other natural resource carelessly, those parents who proudly say that ‘our son only drinks coca cola’ (I have seen a kid whose 1^st requirement in the morning was a cold-drink which was made available to him with lot of pampering. It was disgusting to see a 4-5 years old boy drinking cold-drink through out the day!), big celebrities (who know people blindly believe in them) advertising for unhealthy products, all belong to the ‘careless creatures tribe’

So when question of spending life with someone arises, shouldn’t we rather discriminate based on tribes than religion? Life partners don’t relate to each other only in the kitchen or bedroom, but what matter most are the values. For example, survival of a girl married in a racist family will depend on maintenance of her colour irrespective of her other characteristics. A person of ‘environmentalist tribe’ might not be able to spend life with a smoker. A person of ‘vegan tribe’ will prefer to stay away from ‘non-vegetarian tribe’. So on and so forth.

Will marrying in the same religion guarantee a good life? I don’t think so. But yes, I believe, marrying in the same ‘tribe’ might actually give a good life!